So after almost a year of being away from deviant art I’m entering back into this online part of the world once again to try to find the fun I used to have while drawing, having felt that pull at my heart when I saw my tablet collecting dust on in my drawer. To be honest this is going to serve as both a re-intro of me into dA, as well as a little rant for myself to get stuff off my chest that I need to.
There were quite a few reasons that I left dA but I feel like there were two main reasons I left. The first being that I needed to focus so much more on my studies in order to get the marks needed to be able to score an internship to help myself, and as such I had to cut some aspects of my life and decided that dA was one of those things I needed to cut. Now that I have grown my own study skills and gotten my marks back up I feel like I am able to at least put a bit of time into dA again.
Another reason was that I just wasn’t enjoying it myself for my own personal reasons, basically a battle that I lost within myself. For a long time while still drawing I was constantly fighting a battle I was told that most artists face, being your own worst critic. Every time I put out something or drew something up I always thought that it wasn’t all that good, and over time it got to the point where I was drawing stuff but not putting it up because I thought it was so bad and wouldn’t draw for like a week after that. I didn’t have my own self-confidence built up enough to deal with that and I lost that crucial battle time and time again with the aftermath getting worse with each loss. After growing up (imo) and fighting the same kinds of battles in other aspects of my life I feel like I have the willpower to once again try to further my own artistic talents. I learned and felt that powerful feeling when you step back and see just how far you’ve come when trying to get better at my hobby (Which is now almost a way of life for me at this point) of competitive smash brothers, and I feel like I can finally bring that to my old hobby of drawing.
So to wrap things up I’ll be getting progressively more active over the next couple of month as I try to regain my bearings and do art for just myself. Roleplay groups will be out of the question for at least the first month so I can try to focus on the art I enjoy doing instead of trying to keep up with RP on top of that. To those of you whom I called my friends (And still do tbh, I love you guys still even without talking for a while! <3) on here way back when I’m back again and I can fully understand if none of you even remember me or give a single s**t about me anymore. If you guys want to get back in contact I’m all for rekindling old friendships and catching up, here’s to a new Benjie (Who is still loads like the old one xD)! <3
3rd Year Computer Science Student and aspiring Smash Brothers player, who likes to draw in his spare time.
I also livestream sometimes when I'm gaming over at www.twitch.tv/BenjieJay
Discord Server when I'm online is discord.gg/0rMiHe8ytJymqxoy